Porn is love you can see.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
