You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
