Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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