and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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