why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i love accidental penises.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
