it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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