absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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