I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
