I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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