the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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