Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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