So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Randomize
