I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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