He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
