fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
This house was built for laser tag.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Randomize
