the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
