i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
