Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Randomize
