... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
