I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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