So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
