I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
