if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
