My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
