the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
