I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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