I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
