You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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