My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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