Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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