after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
