My friends, they love my intelligence
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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