he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
