It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
