Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
