I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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