Moan for me like Helen Keller
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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