you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
