we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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