just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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