His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
