we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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