Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
pop tarts are not kleenex
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
