She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
