on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
