apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
