Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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