I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
