Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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