I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
time to smoke my breakfast
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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