I bet he comes in French.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
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