Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
