I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
