is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
