i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
try to milk me bitch
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