the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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