Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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