Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
