i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
